When I was ten years old, I wrote an essay for class on the topic ‘The Day I Got My Mother Angry’. It told of a fictional situation where I dropped my mother’s favourite white dress in mud, right after she painstakingly washed and dried it. My description of her wrath and my subsequent punishment (non-fiction) got me the highest grade in the class for the essay. Good times.
Most people don’t like to be told that they get angry easily. It angers them. They know that anger is a trait which is disliked, so they also feel ashamed that they have it. But in their embarrassment, they try to defend themselves and they get angry along the way. The rest of people don’t care. They think its their right to express their feelings and emotions as they please. That’s quite ok as well.
Anger can be a choice. It can be among numerous responses to a situation and does not have to be the default reaction. If this is how you respond to things or to people, then don’t go there just as yet. Read the rest of the article.
Chances are you get angry because things do not go according to how you plan them or a person goes against your beliefs and expectations. So, basically your angry outbursts are meant to make a statement. Understandable. People need to know where you stand on things. But ask yourself this. Did your reaction fix the problem or did it make more problems? People tend to treat with angry persons differently so chances are no one is being themselves at the moment. A confrontation erupts and the problem still isn’t fixed.
Everyone is different. It’s very easy for me to say ‘try a different approach to handling situations’, than it is for a person who gets angry quickly to actually calm down and try doing that. The resolution of the problem should be the first priority. Your motto, philosophy and manifesto are secondary. Remember, being angry hinders your ability to think clearly and find solutions. You can’t be the solution if your are a problem.
Everyone has a choice over being angry or not. Just keep all the personal propaganda inside for a little while longer. There will be a place and time for you to vent later on. So, give yourself options: find the humour in the situation, call it water under the bridge and move on, be cool and walk away to clear your mind and appreciate that other people are fearful of your reaction so stop and think about them for a minute.
Anger is perhaps the easiest emotion to evoke and the hardest to get rid off. Don’t try to control it. Simply don’t give it the light of day.